When you have a teenager that wants to build a car, I highly recommend you do your best to accommodate. Especially if he's a car enthusiasts.
Because that means he will want to spend time at home with his friends working on the car. You will know where he is, and you get to meet ALL of his friends.
Great plan. Just don't think of the expense that goes along with it. Remember, your boy is at home. He's working on a project with his dad and 100 of his closest friends. Oy.
I gladly accommodated. In fact, I'm so cool it was my idea. Go me!
This works out so well because we have a three car garage. You hand over two bays because you know you'll still have yours. Yeah, right.
It's fantastic at first. He's home all the time. His friends are all here. You're providing pizza to half the town, but you know on any given weekend where your teenager is. Fan-freakin-tastic!
But wait. Here's the catch. You can never NEVER go out of town with your daughter. Ever.
Because your husband is an overgrown teenager. . . with money. Limitations melt away. You're not there to <ahem> guide them in the process. You can't stop them from opening accounts at various "car" places. They spend, spend, spend. Think that's the worst of it? Oh hell no. You come home from a lovely getaway with your daughter to find that you have been kicked out of your THREE car garage. For ONE car.
Why you ask?
Because they have bought a cherry lift, an engine host, and bolted a pipe bender in your spot TO THE GROUND!
You ask why did you do that? Their answer. . . because we needed to bend pipes. Ahhh. Makes perfect sense if you have a penis. Which I don't. All I know is I've been parking outside for months now. Damn. Almost a year. Not cool.
Here's the solution though.
You wait until they're gone and you're fed up.
Go to the garage and take back your spot! Get the bolt remover thingy and move that baby. Pile all their crap up, and take what is rightfully yours. Oh wait. They don't like where you put their crap? Tough. Remember you don't like parking in the driveway. In the heat, in the rain, in the winter. That's right gals, reclaim your space. It's YOURS! Take it back. It might take a little hard work, but that's ok. Maybe next time they'll think about what's rightfully yours. If they don't? Let them know there will be consequences, and see if they want to find out. I bet I could get some good money with all their hard work.
Besides, the teenager has recently become an "adult" and moved out. Apparently he has a life of him own between school and work. It would be a great reminder to coming home to work on his project.
As a kid you always look forward to your birthday. I still do. The thought of getting another year older makes me truly happy. Think about the alternative.
However, since 1993, every time my birthday approaches I can't help but recall the tragic events that have happened over the years since then. My birthday reminds me of Waco and the Branch Davidians. I remember seeing the house on fire, and so many people dying. Then in 1995, the bombing in Oklahoma City at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. I remember the feeling of helplessness for all of those people; especially the children. And now, the Boston Marathon. More senseless death.
Each year is a time to celebrate another year of life on this earth. Yet, over the years, I've began to hold my breath and I say a prayer that nothing It happens again when my birthday week rolls around. My heart sinks and goes out to all of those have been effected by all of these tragedies. I wonder when it will stop. At a time I want to celebrate, I'm reminded of the evil that lurks in our society.
On top of all the tragedy that has taken place in our society, we had the explosion at the fertilizer plant in West Texas. Coupled with the death of my niece's mother on the same day. Instead of a birthday cake this year, I morned the loss of her at her funeral yesterday. I watched two girls that will forever be without their mother.
As I write this, I realize what I need to do to bring balance to this crazy world. I need to embrace the past and look to the future. What impact can I have on encouraging goodness in others? For my birthday this year, I will not let the evilness invade my every thought this year. I will refocus on what I can do to seek out and spread love to others instead of hate.
I will choose love and strength to fight this battle. I will choose faith over fear.
A mother's number one job is to protect her children from harm.
She is who they draw their strength from.
She is their comfort. Their everything.
What happens when a mother feels so helpless? Who does she turn to?
Her children bring her such joy, but when is that not enough?
What is going through the mind of a lost soul? Where is the line blurred? When is the line so out of focus that it is crossed? Forever.
It's unimaginable. The ultimate betrayal to a child. The mother leaves this world by her own hands. She drifts into sleep. Forever.
Who is left to pick up the pieces of a child's broken heart? Their crushed souls that are crumbled into tiny little pieces never to be put together the same again.
No matter how many people love and comfort the children, there is no replacement.
There will always be a void that no other person can fill.
Not a father.
Not a sister.
Not a brother.
Not an aunt.
Not an uncle.
Not even a grandparent.
A decision perhaps in desperation that can never be taken back.
No one will never know why, but the question will always linger . . . what could I have done? I will never know the demons that she fought, but I will do my best by the children she left behind. I will remind them every day that they are loved.
Just two days ago, I received a phone call that my (step*) niece's mother was in the hospital. We later found out that she had overdosed on prescription pills. With what was found, it was no accident. Today we received news that she is brain dead. She was taken off life support, and passed this afternoon.The family has decided to donate her organs; which is the best gift you can give to another family. Although I did not know her mother personally, I am extremely sad. Sad for many reasons. I'm extremely sad that she saw no other way out. I'm sad she didn't have anyone to turn to; or to ask for help if she felt like she could not go on. I'm sad for her children, her disabled mother she lived with that will forever have that lasting memory of finding her child unresponsive, and her other family and friends. I'm sad that she left behind a 13 and 11 year old that will always ask why. The 13 year old has a strong support system within our family. However, I worry about the 11 year old that does not know who her father is; nor does she have the same support system. She is autistic and does not have the ability to understand what is going on. She doesn't understand why her mommy won't wake up. She's left sobbing and screaming "my heart is broken!" I will never understand. I am not angry at their mom. I do not know her struggles. I am simply sad.
For anyone that reads this, please share any experience that would help us cope with the situation. If you suspect that anyone you know is struggling, please reach out to them. It might just be what they need to make it through the day.
* I only refer to her as my step niece for clarification for those who might know me. She is my family no matter what.
I'm about to venture on my first trip ALONE in years. 1998 to be exact. Before I was a wife or mother, I went to Europe by myself. I felt so independent and it was amazing. I actually planned on moving overseas. Then I met my husband. Things changed. Needless to say, my plans changed. We've been married for almost 13 years now. That just seems crazy typing this out. Surly I'm not old enough for that, right people? RIGHT!! Anyhoo . . . we have always done everything as a couple; which is great don't get me wrong. Even when we travel somewhere I always manage to get some alone time; mostly because he likes to nap. Heck, even when we go somewhere it's never a shock to our friends when he decides to go back to the hotel, and I go do my own thing, but he's there. Even after I had my daughter, it wasn't until she was four years old that we spent the night out at a hotel 20 miles from home. Now we frequently go out of town. However, this weekend it's just me. I'm stoked. I'm headed to New Orleans to see a friend's dream to come to fruition. His sister and him have been working on a side project, and have produced some wonderful new children's music. This weekend they're playing at the French Quarter Festival in New Orleans. I've been helping him promote it, and I'm grateful to be apart of this experience. I'm also grateful that my husband "gets it." I thought I was going to have to "sell" him on the idea, but as soon as I told him he told me I had to go. That makes me so much more excited. Why? Because I need this. I need to be independent. I need to go do my thing without having to say "what do you want to do?" Even know when my husband and I go out of town we pretty much do what I want to do. He's pretty laid back, and I always want to go, go, go. However, I just want the freedom of knowing I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it with no questions asked. Selfish? Maybe. Necessary? Yes. It's easy to get lost after almost 13 years of marriage. I've felt that a lot lately. So what am I going to do? I'm going to go and have fun. I'm going to meet up with friends. I'm going to have fun promoting my friend's new venture. More importantly, I'm going to leave my husband in charge of taking care of our daughter and know she's in good hand. They are going to have a great weekend. Honestly, she's ready for me to go. She's excited about daddy time. You know what? I'm excited about mommy time. ME time! It's only over night. So it's not a big deal, but it is at the same time it is for me. I'm looking forward to it and counting the hours. Sometimes we just need to hit the reset button and refresh. So that's what in doing. Does that make me a bad mom? I hope not. I hope it makes me a better one. I'm looking forward to it, and I expect to come back refreshed. Some times we just need to get away. Do you ever feel like this? If you do, I hope you get a chance to hit the refresh button. Maybe for an hour or over night. As the old saying goes, "if mom is happy, everyone is happy."