Sunday, April 7, 2013
Why I don't feel guilty
I'm about to venture on my first trip ALONE in years. 1998 to be exact. Before I was a wife or mother, I went to Europe by myself. I felt so independent and it was amazing. I actually planned on moving overseas. Then I met my husband. Things changed. Needless to say, my plans changed. We've been married for almost 13 years now. That just seems crazy typing this out. Surly I'm not old enough for that, right people? RIGHT!! Anyhoo . . . we have always done everything as a couple; which is great don't get me wrong. Even when we travel somewhere I always manage to get some alone time; mostly because he likes to nap. Heck, even when we go somewhere it's never a shock to our friends when he decides to go back to the hotel, and I go do my own thing, but he's there. Even after I had my daughter, it wasn't until she was four years old that we spent the night out at a hotel 20 miles from home. Now we frequently go out of town. However, this weekend it's just me. I'm stoked. I'm headed to New Orleans to see a friend's dream to come to fruition. His sister and him have been working on a side project, and have produced some wonderful new children's music. This weekend they're playing at the French Quarter Festival in New Orleans. I've been helping him promote it, and I'm grateful to be apart of this experience. I'm also grateful that my husband "gets it." I thought I was going to have to "sell" him on the idea, but as soon as I told him he told me I had to go. That makes me so much more excited. Why? Because I need this. I need to be independent. I need to go do my thing without having to say "what do you want to do?" Even know when my husband and I go out of town we pretty much do what I want to do. He's pretty laid back, and I always want to go, go, go. However, I just want the freedom of knowing I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it with no questions asked. Selfish? Maybe. Necessary? Yes. It's easy to get lost after almost 13 years of marriage. I've felt that a lot lately. So what am I going to do? I'm going to go and have fun. I'm going to meet up with friends. I'm going to have fun promoting my friend's new venture. More importantly, I'm going to leave my husband in charge of taking care of our daughter and know she's in good hand. They are going to have a great weekend. Honestly, she's ready for me to go. She's excited about daddy time. You know what? I'm excited about mommy time. ME time! It's only over night. So it's not a big deal, but it is at the same time it is for me. I'm looking forward to it and counting the hours. Sometimes we just need to hit the reset button and refresh. So that's what in doing. Does that make me a bad mom? I hope not. I hope it makes me a better one. I'm looking forward to it, and I expect to come back refreshed. Some times we just need to get away. Do you ever feel like this? If you do, I hope you get a chance to hit the refresh button. Maybe for an hour or over night. As the old saying goes, "if mom is happy, everyone is happy."